…was the name of an article I once wrote. I hate to say this, but there’s no single method that anyone can give you to ensure career success. That is, unless you are a lucky victim of forced organizational nepotism. But we’ll get to you lucky jerks in a minute.
Here’s some myths that you should know are MYTHS because they’re not true:
- The best candidate gets the job. Are you kidding me? Your qualifications in previous internships, your old job, your education, and the seminars and books and blogs and all that crud doesn’t mean much if you don’t impress your potential employer. People like people who are like themselves. Hate golf but hear that your potential future boss loves it? Get on that effing green.
- You’ll get the right job if you hold out. Really? So if I wait around like the weird girl in the corner on prom night, the varsity quarterback will know to come over and sweep me off my feet? Why would he do that when he’s dancing with the cheerleading squad’s captain or chief or grand poobah (or whatever they’re called)? I would rather go the teen movie route and get glammed up and grab him myself. And I didn’t mean to emasculate myself there, but such is the way of the extended metaphor.
- You have to know someone working at the company to really have a shot working there. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve had jobs before where I didn’t know anyone working there before I met them during interviews or on the first day. It’s not all about contacts, though they do help.
Anyway, you can get attention by sticking out and doing something different. Show off your competitive advantage (we’ll talk about that in another post) and convince the people you’re applying with that you’re worth their time, and you can usually get at least a few toes in the door.
Waiting around, as we’ve discussed before, is about as useful as a single-use toilet. Sure, it might make you feel relaxed and good once, but after that, you find yourself sitting around in shit and have no one to blame but yourself. Yeah, I came up with that one too.
Finally, the contacts thing (nepotism people, this is where you come in): it doesn’t matter if you know an employee at the firm, especially one in your age group. They can’t do much to help you, and don’t want to be the person who wasted the managers’ time with someone who doesn’t get hired in the end (especially before another round of layoffs is coming). But if you know managers or upper-strata employees, then you have a shot. Make these contacts and use them like you’ll win something if you do (the prize is a career). Yes, I am actually telling you to make friends with old people. It’s okay, really!
I can’t promise you’ll get the job you want and grow rich, but at least you’ll be less likely to be stuck reading a bunch of articles about getting work that use horrible metaphors.
