“Say, Andrew, didn’t you spend some time working for a body language expert?”
Why yes, hypothetical audience member who has spent way too much time stalking me on the Internet, I DID! And so begins a new feature, “Body Language Basics,” where we will discuss some simple things you can do to kill it at your next interview, networking event, job fair or other employment-(or life-)related event!
So the handshake is simple, right? Grab, shake, done. Well, no. If that was it, I wouldn’t be posting about it.
Basically, you need to be cautious of three things: pressure, angle, and time. Here’s how to tell:
Pressure: Ever shook hands with someone and it went limp? Or they gripped onto you and squoze so hard you thought your hand was going to fall off? Both are bad – the limp one shows weakness, the crusher shows overconfidence and aggressive tendencies. So what do you do?
If it’s a new boss, be a little weaker, but not too much. It shows that you’re not gunning for their spot in the company (yet). If it’s with a new subordinate, a tiny bit of extra pressure is fine. And if it’s with a hiring manager, a firm grasp (think of the ideal handshake pressure – that’s usually just right) works great.
Angle: I hate when someone puts their hand in from an over-the-top angle like in an old movie where you then kiss the hand or something. Don’t be that person! Similarly, the angle on a good connection (thumbs cross over, hands form an almost “x” shape) can be a problem.
If you tilt your hand too much inwards (since you should be using your right hand, unless you don’t have one, I will skip more imagery here) it’s another sign of aggression. Palm-out and away tilting gestures show that you’re ready to be someone’s bitch. Unless it’s with someone who you want to show a sign of deference to (and even then, barely tilt outwards), never change the position from a straight-on angle.
Time: Don’t let the handshake go on forever, or cut off too quick! A quick three pumps or so (one up-down move is a pump) should do it. And move your hand away from theirs cleanly; don’t just drop your hand or let your fingers linger on theirs. Both of those are just creepy.
So now that you know how to shake hands the right way, you’ll always be able to make a great first impression!
Provided your hands are washed, that is.
I hope you don’t mind that I linked to your very well written, light-hearted post. It brought just the right balance to my way too serious thoughts in “Talk to the hand.” Thanks! pc