You may have heard of this body language technique, as it’s one of the most well-known and easiest to use tactics in an effective body language arsenal. However, it’s also one of the most misused. Mirroring, if done right, will create a more comfortable environment, fostering a greater trust and deeper connection between two people. If done incorrectly, however, it can lead to disaster.
Do you remember when you were a kid, and someone would repeat everything you just said? They would copy you until you yelled, “Quit copying me!” and they would yell back “Quit copying me!” and things would either settle down or someone would wind up being stuck on the monkey bars for the rest of recess. It was pretty annoying, right? The copying part, I mean.
That’s exactly how mirroring can go wrong.
The easiest way to mirror (or reflect someone’s movements and vocal tone) is to use it sparingly. Watch what actions they make when talking passionately, or when showing interest. Notice what words they put emphasis on, and how their facial features change when talking about different aspects of a topic. That’s all you need to say back or do in response. Showing that you are like them while still being your own person is better than appearing to be a parrot.
So remember: pick out the key movements and phrases, and use those. Because if you use everything, you’ll wind up stuck on the monkey bars for the rest of recess. And you won’t have a job to show for it.
