Needle, Meet Haystack

The unflappable, ineffable, completely awesome Thursday Bram has released a terrific ebook upon the denizens of the Internet, Discover Your New Job Online. I might be biased because I’ve known Thursday since college, but trust me when I say that this is essential to any job seeker.

She covers everything: the early planning stages, makin’ yourself all professional-like, utilizing social networks and job boards, and that tricky little thing called landing the job.  And she writes well, delivering the information very cleanly and concisely without it ever getting boring.  And at just over 50 pages, you won’t get bogged down by unnecessary content or long, boring, irrelevant language.

The ebook is only $8.99, and you get it right away!  So if you’re a job seeker or know someone who is (and in this economy, we all know someone who’s looking for a job), take a look!  it’s definitely worth it.

Discover Your New Job Online by Thursday Bram (via Stepcase Lifehack Books)

Wow, this was a busy week, full of some important events, full of a lot of ups and downs.  They are chronicled here, in case you happen to prefer reading this blog to watching the news:

• I moved the blog to a new home.  What do you guys think?  I’m still finishing some site updates, but feel free to email me or comment with suggestions.
• DumbassBoss.com launched.  The first of what I hope will be several sites that I’m involved with, DumbassBoss, was unleashed upon the public this past Tuesday.  If you haven’t looked at the site, head on over, and add us on Twitter!
• JD Salinger died.  I’m kind of ashamed to admit that I never read Catcher in the Rye, but I’ve heard a lot of good things about it.  A lot of people tweeted about it.  Guess I’ll head over to the library now…
• The iPad debuted.  Putting aside the connotations of the name for a few minutes, the lack of multitasking, a 4:3 aspect ratio on the monitor, no 3G support (except for the most expensive model), a lack of a USB drive (without an adapter) and what seems is going to be an uncomfortable typing experience do not fill me with a need for this product.  Should make the Apple fans happy just the same, though.
• Ugly Betty got cancelled.  I’ve only seen this show a couple of times, but its passing is noteworthy because of: 1) its global franchise status, and 2) the Friday Night Death Slot move prior to the news.  Look for posts on one (or both) of these phenomena coming soon.
• The President gave the State of the Union Address.  Would’ve enjoyed it more if this bit somehow managed to work its way in.  Other than that, Joe Biden seems to look more and more like Sam the Eagle every year.
• Miramax died. The studio was slowly crumbling ever since the Weinsteins left, so pop in Pulp Fiction, Chicago, Clerks, or your favorite film from this now-deceased studio to commemorate its passing.

Oh nuts – I can’t leave this week ending on a downer!  So how about…

• The final season of Lost premieres next week.  Something about an island and dangling plot threads and a whole lot of craziness.

Joel Zimmerman is the platonic ideal of everything that Generation Y stands for.  He is confident, but has fun.  His personal brand extends through social networks and has helped him to develop a massive fan base.  He works hard and is rewarded for his efforts.  And until he was 27, he lived with his parents.  Joel is what might happen if someone took the lessons from every featured post ever on Brazen Careerist and applied them to his life.

You might not know Joel by his given name, but rather by his artistic persona: Grammy-nominated DJ and producer Deadmau5.

Putting aside the fact that tracks like “Faxing Berlin,” “Ghosts ‘N Stuff” and the Grammy-nominated “I Remember” are amazing productions in their own right, here are but a few lessons that Deadmau5 exemplifies:

• Personal branding through powerful symbols. The Deadmau5 logo is a bastardized version of the Mickey Mouse shape.  But it’s not just a logo – Joel has several giant ‘mau5 heads with eyes that strobe to the beat of the music that he wears when he plays.
• Social media and emerging technology optimization. Not only is his website cool and cutting-edge, but Deadmau5 was one of the first artists to come out with a branded iPhone app.  And it’s really good – it lets users become virtual DJs (with Deadmau5 music) – and has been updated several times to keep up with new iPhone/iTouch tech.  Plus, he made an awesome wristband for his fans that not only shows off their love and support of his music, but also contains albums, videos and other goodies on the built-in USB drive.
• Poster child for Boomerangs. If you missed what I said at the beginning of this post, the dude lived with his parents until he was 27.  With around 1/3 of people under 30 still at home, Joel’s success serves as an inspiration to all of us who chill with mom and dad on the weekends.
• Extreme location independence. Deadmau5 is a world-renowned DJ.  That means that he spends a lot of time travelling to play shows in different countries.  He produces music, tweets, blogs and releases updates all of the time.  He is a business machine.
• Adaptation to conventional business models.  He gained fame and renown in the genre of dance music, a category that thrives on singles, not albums.  And somehow, his debut album, Random Album Title, did very well commercially.

Deadmau5 is the perfect example for everything that Gen-Y bloggers talk about.  So why has no one talked about him?  My guess: they’re too busy enjoying “The Reward is Cheese.”

At the end of last year, I compiled a list of the Top 9 Blogs of 2009.  If you look at the post, you might notice something doesn’t quite work with that title – the badge and link itself both say “Top 10.”  There are only 9 blogs listed there because I wasn’t about to mention any of them without the express consent of their authors, and I never received a response from one of the bloggers on my list.

This is a story about the 10th blog.

I’m sure that Dan Schawbel of the Personal Branding Blog is a busy guy.  He’s running a terrific site, has a book out that I’ve put on my Amazon wish list, and has a ton of speaking and consulting gigs.  It’s not hard to imagine that my hastily-written email got lost in his inbox.  Considering how clogged my gmail account is without being a personal branding rock star like Dan, I’m definitely sympathetic.  And he’s been nice enough to tweet about some of my posts, which is always great for blog traffic.

Dan is truly a guru in an age of expert backlash, and his posts have helped me develop my own personal brand more than I would ever have been able to do on my own.

That being said, I’m going to take a few risks that might shove my personal brand in the toilet, and they fly in the face of a lot of what Dan preaches.  The approach is twofold:

1. I moved my blog, which has (so far) provided me with a 7/8 drop in readership.  Or in other words, almost 88% of my readers haven’t followed me over (although a lot of the traffic was due to random searches through WordPress.com, so maybe I’m a bit inaccurate).  I’ve decided to completely change my direction and move away from my niche (discussed here).
2. I co-founded a new site called DumbassBoss.com, an FML- and MLIA-type site where people can share stories of the incompetence – or competence – of their bosses.  And did I mention that all submissions are anonymous?  I’m pretty much encouraging people to tell the world how dumb their bosses are.  If that doesn’t hurt my chances at getting a job, I’ll be very surprised.

I’m taking a huge risk with my personal brand that has a high potential for failure and decreasing my buying temperature.  But you know what?  I’m looking forward to seeing what happens.

So thanks for the personal branding lessons, Dan.  Even if I’m not going to completely follow your advice, it’s helped me out a lot.  And no matter what anyone says, your blog will always be the 10th of the Top 10 of 2009 to me.

I suck at this whole “responsible adult” thing.

Sure, I can be (convincingly) courteous and (relatively) charming when the situation demands it, but it’s difficult for me to really adapt to being a fully-formed, contributing member of society.  I know the code of conduct and how I should act, but it’s not completely in my character to do so.

When I’m driving in my car with the windows up, I’ll have my music on loud and sing into my closed cell phone as if it were a microphone.  I sing to the other drivers at stop lights.  I make my passengers sing backup vocals.  I do this all the time.

Last week, my dog woke me up by farting in my face.  I got my revenge two days later when I woke her up by farting in her face.  I see this as acceptable behavior.

During a debate with a friend over the merits of the potential health care bill, things got particularly heated.  I called him a  poopy-head.  I accept this as a valid point in an argument.

I’m at an age where my friends are getting married and starting families, and I still watch SpongeBob SquarePants.  I can carry myself well enough in meetings and office environments, but one of the highlights of this past week was when I ran out the door to my house and bought a bomb pop from the ice cream man.

There’s the old adage, “you’re only as old as you feel.”  In that case, I’m somewhere around the age of 10.  So is this a detriment to my personal and professional development?  It doesn’t seem that likely.

The success of places like Hot Topic, vintage clothing retailers, used video game shops and vinyl record stores is predicated on a love of nostalgia, a desire to enjoy things “ironically,” and the urge to regress to childhood.  Everyone looks back on it as a more innocent time in their lives, when they were free to be creative and enjoy life.  The most important thing in a child’s day might have been getting a new GI Joe.  And as adults, these people look to retro items to remind themselves of those feelings.

But why do you have to give all of that up in the first place?

Remember when you were a kid, and you couldn’t wait to grow up?  I’m gonna be able to do whatever I want! You’d think.  I can stay up late, have ice cream for breakfast, buy myself all the toys I want…it’ll be great! Did you ever follow through on those thoughts?

Lemme tell ya, if you’ve never experienced the pure joy that is dessert for breakfast, and I’m not talking pancakes with whipped cream or donuts or that awful “Cookie Crisp” garbage, you are missing out.  Forget the calories, fat, saturated fat, trans fat, monounsaturated fat, sodium, sugars and carbohydrates.  Just realize that you’re accomplishing something that you always wanted to do, and give your seven-year-old self a high-five through the space-time continuum.  And if you’re vehemently against cake, pie, ice cream or other amazingly delicious confectionery delights, buy a box of cereal with a cartoon character mascot on it.  And Corn Flakes, Frosted Flakes, Rice Krispies, Honey Nut Cheerios and Cookie Crisp don’t count.

A while back, I wrote a post on maintaining creativity.  The other part of that equation is that you need to be inspired by what’s around you.  Think back to when you were amazed by a refrigerator box.  Or some old clothes.  Or the grass in the park.  Kids can have more fun in one hour than adults can have in a week.

What are you waiting for?  You can suit up and be prim and proper at the office from 9 to 5, but there’s no reason to keep the chains of being a grown-up on all day every day.  Do what you always wanted to do when you were younger, but never did.  Think about what little You would say if they could see you now.

So if you’ll excuse me, I have to see about an ice cream.

A number of people have asked me how to write well.  They’re having trouble finding a “writer’s voice” that sounds natural, unique and still like them.  It’s a pretty huge ego boost to get a question like that, because I presume that they’re telling me that I am a good writer.  But my answer to this is pretty simple, because it’s the only way I know how to do it: write like you talk.

Nothing that I’ve ever put on this blog is any different from something that I would say in my everyday life.  I enjoy using words like “boggle,” “bamboozle,” “kerfuffle,” “hijinks,” “shindig” and so on.  The tone and patterns of my writing (or in this case, blogging, which can be different) match my own speech patterns.  I usually read what I’ve written out loud and adjust it as necessary.

This strategy is pretty obvious but is rarely used.  As I mentioned in a previous post about filling out a job application, it doesn’t make sense to write in a way that no one talks.  Grandiloquence (using big words to sound important) won’t get you far, and outside of a Diablo Cody script, quirky, irreverent dialog just seems weird.  You don’t need to look far to find a unique or coherent writing voice – just use your own.

And if you don’t like the way you talk, pick someone you wish you talked like and write as them.

I was out to lunch with my boss yesterday at a cheap Japanese restaurant that we sometimes go to.  We usually order the same thing and sit at the same table in the same spots.  But as I was about to place my drink down, I remembered something and sat where he usually does.  It was liberating.

As we chowed down on our teriyaki chicken, I decided to tell him why I did that.

The thing about sitting at a table is that you can actually gain or lose power depending on where you’re seated.  So, without further ado (but with the help of MS Paint), let’s investigate the power of one’s seating position:

Here’s a diagram of our relative positions at the table (the table is the black square):

The reason that I had switched seats (I’m usually on the other side) is because I realized that the seat that my boss usually had was one of power.  After all, when I sat in my old spot, I could only focus on him; other customers, the window and door to the outside world and really almost anything in the restaurant were behind me.  He had full view of all of these things, and could therefore be distracted.  Meanwhile, the view I had (and the one he had on the most recent visit) was one of just the wall.  The focus would solely be on the other person.

This is something that also comes into play in the layout of an office. On the left, I’ve drawn a picture of my hypothetical office (I work from home after all, but let’s pretend that I have an office) and where I would be seated versus a visitor.  The black thing in the middle would be my desk.

In this instance, there is something behind me – a window.  However, I can control whether the blinds are open or not, giving me even more power over what the other person sees.  Meanwhile, I have a view of most of my own office, and possibly out into the entire workspace.  Once again, the power is given to the person with more visual distractions – the person with less things to see focuses more on the other person, as they do not have much choice in where to divert their attention.

But what happens when there are several people at a larger table, like one in a conference room?  I’ve gotten to be a bit diagram-happy today, so here’s a visual example:

Once again, position and distractions come into play.  As there are fewer people at either end of the table, there are fewer potential divergences of attention when looking at them.

This can also apply to your personal life: the next time you’re on a date, try this out: sit on the side of the table where you have more distractions.  Your date will become more focused on you and what you have to say, which can lead to a better conversation.  Just be careful not to ogle the other patrons or the waitstaff too obviously.

I shared this information with my boss.  ”That’s really interesting,” he said.  ”But you forgot one important thing.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m your boss.  If we’re talking, you should be paying attention to me, no matter where we’re sitting.”

A few weeks ago, one of the student newspapers at my alma mater interviewed me for a series on alumni entrepreneurs.  It’s more stuff that relates to my professional life, so read away if you want to find out some stuff that was left out of last week’s series.

And I swear to you, I had nothing to do with the title.

Finding the American Dream (via SixThirtyOne)

FOR THOSE JUST TUNING IN: I’m spending the next few days discussing my successes and failures and stereotypical misadventures as a member of Generation Y.  Catch up by reading part one, part two and part three first.  And make sure to catch tomorrow’s post for some exciting news!

As I boarded the plane, I kept thinking of that phrase, “If you can make it in New York City, you can make it anywhere.”  So now it was time to face facts: I couldn’t make it anywhere.

Things hadn’t exactly panned out for me in New York.  After sending out applications to 150 different advertising, public relations and marketing agencies, I found that I couldn’t get even one interview.  Sure, it was nice to walk around Manhattan sometimes and desperately cling to the hope that work would turn up, but nothing materialized.  So after the self-imposed deadline of two months had passed, I packed up again and flew off to Phoenix.

“We’re happy to see you,” my dad said in the car ride home from the airport.  ”Well, we’re not happy that you’re here.  But we’re happy to see you.  You understand what I mean.”

My mom echoed his statements.  ”I’m sorry that you couldn’t get work over there, but it’ll be nice to have you home for longer than a couple of weeks to visit.”

So I set up in my old bedroom and began the process of rebuilding my professional life.  But I didn’t have to look far.

About a week in to my newfound “Boomerang” status, I met up with an old friend from high school.  It turned out that he had started an internet marketing company, but needed help expanding it.  Specifically, he needed someone to write emails, develop site content and take care of customer issues.  And with that, I was once again employed.

Which leads us to now.  Unlike the last time I worked on a business with a friend, this time, I knew what I was getting myself into.  We had discussed (and corrected) many of the problems that had plagued our business lives in the past, and have been able to move forward much more successfully.

This might not have been the life I planned on, but it’s taught me a lot more about myself and my professional abilities than I could have imagined.

FOR THOSE JUST TUNING IN: I’m spending the next few days discussing my successes and failures and stereotypical misadventures as a member of Generation Y.  Catch up by reading part one and part two first.

We were two young, barely experienced, unemployed guys living in a $2400 a month apartment.  And we had a dream.

My roommate (let’s call him Stan) had spent the better part of the past three years building his reputation as a club DJ and producer, though his true hobby was business.  He had been running successful businesses since he was 14 – when we first met, he showed me his new Porsche 911 that he had bought with the spoils of his financial victories.  Stan was a motivated self-starter with the goal to create an entertainment company for our future ventures (publishing for me, music for him) that would set us up for financial security within one year and possible retirement within ten.

With Georgetown out of Stan’s way and the body language job out of mine, we began to build our empire.  Over the course of the next two months, we corralled over a dozen artists, signed distribution deals, recorded radio shows that were heard all over the world and managed to secure almost 70 hours of play time for our DJs at the biggest dance music convention in the country.  The label’s name was on a lot of people’s lips, and it seemed like we were destined for greatness.

Except for one tiny problem: we weren’t making any money.

Because the sales of the music we were selling (singles) were all done digitally, we had to wait for the distributors to compile total sales, which is only done quarterly.  It then takes another month or two for the accounting to be finalized and for checks to be sent out.  Additionally, several promoters had not followed through on payment agreements, so there was less money coming in from club performances than there should have been.

And lastly, Stan decided to keep all of his reserve funds locked up in investments rather than having some set aside in a checking account.  The combined market tumble and the new policy of the online brokerage to take three months to process cash-outs led to the total of our expenses (rent, utilities and food) being hoisted on my shoulders.

So I went broke.

Luckily, our lease was coming due, saving my credit score from taking a permanent nosedive that would kill any hopes of building a stable financial future.  But I knew that I couldn’t afford to stay in DC.

I called my parents to discuss the possibility of moving back to Phoenix to recover, rebuild my finances and find work again.  They agreed that staying in DC would be financial and career suicide, but suggested that I spend a little time with some family near New York City before returning home.

After all, Manhattan is the central hub of the advertising, marketing and PR world.  Maybe I would be able to score a job at one of the hundreds of firms there and get to use my marketing degree for the purpose it was intended.  I had hit rock bottom, but it looked like I had come across a way out.