I was out to lunch with my boss yesterday at a cheap Japanese restaurant that we sometimes go to. We usually order the same thing and sit at the same table in the same spots. But as I was about to place my drink down, I remembered something and sat where he usually does. It was liberating.
As we chowed down on our teriyaki chicken, I decided to tell him why I did that.
The thing about sitting at a table is that you can actually gain or lose power depending on where you’re seated. So, without further ado (but with the help of MS Paint), let’s investigate the power of one’s seating position:
Here’s a diagram of our relative positions at the table (the table is the black square):
The reason that I had switched seats (I’m usually on the other side) is because I realized that the seat that my boss usually had was one of power. After all, when I sat in my old spot, I could only focus on him; other customers, the window and door to the outside world and really almost anything in the restaurant were behind me. He had full view of all of these things, and could therefore be distracted. Meanwhile, the view I had (and the one he had on the most recent visit) was one of just the wall. The focus would solely be on the other person.
This is something that also comes into play in the layout of an office. On the left, I’ve drawn a picture of my hypothetical office (I work from home after all, but let’s pretend that I have an office) and where I would be seated versus a visitor. The black thing in the middle would be my desk.
In this instance, there is something behind me – a window. However, I can control whether the blinds are open or not, giving me even more power over what the other person sees. Meanwhile, I have a view of most of my own office, and possibly out into the entire workspace. Once again, the power is given to the person with more visual distractions – the person with less things to see focuses more on the other person, as they do not have much choice in where to divert their attention.
But what happens when there are several people at a larger table, like one in a conference room? I’ve gotten to be a bit diagram-happy today, so here’s a visual example:
Once again, position and distractions come into play. As there are fewer people at either end of the table, there are fewer potential divergences of attention when looking at them.
This can also apply to your personal life: the next time you’re on a date, try this out: sit on the side of the table where you have more distractions. Your date will become more focused on you and what you have to say, which can lead to a better conversation. Just be careful not to ogle the other patrons or the waitstaff too obviously.
I shared this information with my boss. ”That’s really interesting,” he said. ”But you forgot one important thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m your boss. If we’re talking, you should be paying attention to me, no matter where we’re sitting.”
