Needle, Meet Haystack

The advertising world is in a tumultuous state right now, with traditional methods of advertising like print and TV on the decline, and companies spending less during the recession.  But many firms are finding a new way to stay in business, and stay profitable.

This recent article from Advertising Age highlights several agencies and their projects that are less about advertising and more about creating their own products.  It’s a fascinating case study in how businesses and their employees are evolving to changing trends and social demands.

Creating a Legacy Beyond Ads (via Advertising Age)

You’d think that with the relatively rapid clip that I put out posts on here, I would have very few ideas that never made it to the main page.  But actually, there have been dozens of posts and concepts that have been discarded for any number of reasons.  So if you want to run with them on your own blog, feel free to do so.  Anyway, here’s just some of the gems that never saw the light of day on Needle, Meet Haystack:

• Why having a dog has prepared me for fatherhood more quickly than being in a relationship – ended up sounding convoluted
• Miss Independent (a companion to the Domesticated Bachelor piece) – someone else made a post almost identical to this concept, and it covered what I wanted to say far more eloquently than mine would have
• Low-budget cooking (tips and recipes) – strayed too far from the main blog concept
• Avatar and your job search – turned into a movie review more than a helpful metaphor
• Why do people love monkeys so much? – don’t know when I wrote it, but I was probably tipsy; had nothing to do with anything, but it was kind of amusing
• Event planning horror stories – based around one event that happened about a year ago; too much to fit into one (or several) coherent posts
• Various lessons learned from travelling around Europe – most ended up being something along the lines of, “be careful around hobos”
• Stuff having to do with my music/DJing – strayed too far from the main blogging concept
• The problem with political parties – too much of a rant, and WAY too political
• More “economics in the job search” posts – ended up finding other examples to illustrate the same points, and there are enough awesome social econ blogs out there (like Weakonomics and Eco-comics)
• “I can’t think of anything to post today so here’s some random crap”-type posts – I thought of better post
• How to Become a Cult Classic – a lot of this related to the expert posts, so it seemed redundant
• More math posts – one statistically-based post is really enough
• Posts on my personal life – goodness knows that that won’t really help anyone
• Details on some upcoming projects – they’re not done enough, but you’ll be hearing about them soon

If you’re actually interested in seeing any of these posts, let me know.  Otherwise, they’ll be relegated to the ol’ recycling bin known as “Random Posts I Never Finished”!  Ooooooooo….

In my head, there was some ominous music playing from about “Otherwise” on.

In other news, there’s a new mobile version of the site for your portable devices (it loads automatically when you open it from your smart phone), so you can enjoy NMH anywhere!

“What’s Big Love about?” my dad yelled from the den, scanning through the channels on the DirecTV menu.

“Some show about polygamists,” I yelled back.  “I hear it’s pretty good.”

“Maybe I’ll check it out.  Oh, wait – it’s on HBO.  We don’t subscribe to them anymore.”

So Dad didn’t watch the show about one man and his three sister-wives.

I really wish I had a better opening for you, something profound about the lessons of love and life, some grand, sweeping poetic gesture that would bring grown men to tears like the speech at the end of Brian’s Song and would make romance novelists cringe in jealousy.  But all I’ve got is a story about me and my dad and premium cable.  But there’s no easy way to segue into the topic of romantic love among more than two people.

The argument for polygamy is something along the lines of “If you can hate more than one person, why can’t you be in love with more than one person?”  And sure enough, there are fully functional relationships between multiple partners in the world today.  And I’m not about to debate the merits of one lifestyle over another, decry the “sanctity of marriage” or anything like that.  Instead, I’d like to ask a simple question: is the multiple-partner relationship a direction that society is headed in?

The divorce rate, as the news tells me every week or so, is around 50%.  That means that at least half of all couples who wind up tying the knot thinking that they’re in love with each other are not.  There’s an abysmally high record of failed second marriages too – it’s even higher than the divorce rate.  And in this case, we can again assume that these people had found romantic love and it failed.  Presumably, some of them went on to third, fourth or fifth marriages; Larry King alone probably raises the national rate of remarriage up a percent or two.

So here we have all of these people who are able to find romantic love with multiple partners.  It might not run concurrently with the love they have for another partner, but it exists.  Now, compound that with the decrease in overall marriages, the average number of married people who carry on an affair (20 to 30 percent) and the increase in the number of children born out of wedlock, and it seems that people are already looking for love in different ways.  It’s no longer about just settling down with one person.

This isn’t to suggest that we will become a society of hedonistic ne’er-do-wells that corrupt the very institution of marriage, but rather that the concept of a single partner and a monogamous long-term relationship may change.  As our society continues to develop and grow, people are looking past the evolutionary imperative of procreation towards more personalized goals.  It may come to pass that the stigma of polygamy is lifted.

And that, at the very least, sounds like it could make for some entertaining television.

A bunch of squiggles labeled “dinosaurs” from preschool.  A fifth grade report card.  A ticket stub for the opening night for the first Lord of the Rings movie.  Twenty two small rubber bouncy balls.  Two pens from Disneyland.  A schedule of events at the Smithsonian from 2008.  Random pieces of a life.

All in the trash.*

George Carlin probably said it best: “That’s the whole meaning of life, isn’t it?  Trying to find a place for your stuff.”  And really, the point of life is to have stuff.  We work so we can get money to buy stuff.  We give away stuff we don’t want.  We trade stuff for other stuff.  When we have more money, we get better stuff.  When we move in with someone, we get rid of some of our stuff to make room for their stuff.  We all buy, sell and trade stuff for fun and profit.  We’re stuff-mongers.  We live in a stuff-centric society.

But when you get too much stuff you don’t want (“crap,” as Carlin would say, because other people’s stuff is “shit”), you have two options: hoard it or get rid of it.

The problem (for me at least), is that I was raised with my parents in opposing camps.  So I feel a tremendous amount of guilt if I get rid of anything, but I feel guilty when I do clean up.  I can’t separate my stuff from my crap.  After all, there are a good number of reasons to keep everything:

• I might need it later
• I can give it to that guy I know who does that thing with it
• There’s a story behind why I have it
• It was a gift from someone else

The problem is that having a surplus of stuff is a bit of an oxymoron.  I can’t take all of it with me; I’ll put stuff in storage, leave it with parents…eventually, I’ll have to sort through all of it.  Which leads to now.

I spent some time last week going through a two-foot pile of birthday cards I received from the ages of 1 to 15.  Do I need these?  No.  Do I want to keep them?  Yes.  So I devised three different strategies that helped me sort through the cards (and have since used to clean up my desk, bookshelves and other areas):

1. Force odd-number categorizing.  I grab three of whatever it is I’m sorting.  One is trash.  One is maybe.  One is keep.  If I can’t find one to get rid of, I take two more and throw one of the five away.  After I’ve done this, I go through the “maybe” pile.  By this time, I’ve gotten used to the idea of disposing things, so I can throw most of it away easily.  I then repeat this process on the “keep” pile.  This way, I’ve pared down to the essentials.  If I have the option of donating this item, I automatically put the “maybe” pile in with donations and donate up to half of the “keep” pile.
2. Examine relative value.  If something can be replaced, upgraded, or ignored, I get rid of it.  So my old pog collection is disposed of, but I keep a harmonica that used to belong to my grandpa.  I’ll donate a shirt I got from a 5k I ran a few years ago, but I’ll keep the Kabuki mask I got at a street fair in London.  Worst case scenario, I can go out and buy the thing again if I have to.  And in most cases, I don’t have to.
3. Remove all personal connections to the items.  If I look at my stuff from an outsider’s view (ie: someone else’s “shit”), I can more accurately assess what has utility and what doesn’t.  This removes emotional attachments from broken kinetic motion machines or mini water fountains and helps me pare down to what I can actually use.

I’m a long way from making my personal habitat more, well, habitable.  I still have piles of receipts and flyers from events to go through.  There are small mountains (or large hills) of old magazines to parse through.  But for the first time in a long time, I’m getting my stuff in order, and throwing out the crap.

*Or recycling bin

Language is a tricky thing.

You can use Neuro-Linguistic Programming to subtly influence others and get them to do what you want.  But when it comes to convincing people to refrain from doing something, it becomes much trickier.

That’s because our brains are wired to process chunks of information instead of individual segments.  This phenomena is similar to understanding what this sentence means almost instantly:

My wrods can be sepleld worng but as lnog as the lteters are tehre, you shloud undretsnad it jsut fnie.

Boy, spell check loved that one.

Our brains have a similar experience when someone uses negative phrasing.  We grasp on to to action and phase out the negative, remembering the opposite of what is meant.

For example, if you tell Phil, “Don’t put the fork in the electrical socket,” what Phil hears is, “Put the fork in the electrical socket.”  So Phil might electrocute himself.  Instead, you should say, “Keep the fork away from the electrical socket.”  Now, it’s clear to Phil what to do.

Interestingly, the Monty Python song, “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life,” a song about optimism, is written only using positive terms.

The power of phrasing can also be tied to positive and negative reinforcement; people respond worse to chastising and anger because they may not latch on to the message that is presented in a negative attack.  Similarly, constructive criticism is extremely effective because it’s offered in a way that suggests what can be done while still complimenting others.

So when it comes to getting the help or cooperation of others, use positives!  You’ll achieve better results and others will tend to agree with you more.

What’s so bad about being an expert?

No, seriously, I want to know.  Because it seems like everyone under the sun and inside the blogosphere is getting all pissy that some people are experts, or as we say on the Intertubes, “self-proclaimed experts.”  Why all the backlash against the folks who are being all expertly?

Provided that someone can meet the criteria necessary to be considered an expert, they are in fact an expert.  And if you want to get all dictionary-quoting on me, here’s what the definition of expert is (minus military and secondary adjective meanings):

1. a person who has special skill or knowledge in some particular field; specialist; authority: a language expert.

2. possessing special skill or knowledge; trained by practice; skillful or skilled (often fol. by in or at): an expert driver; to be expert at driving a car.

So really, as long as you’re smarter than the average bear in a chosen field, you’re an expert.  Nothing about proficiency tests, levels of savvy or degrees of competence.  So why the anger?

I understand the anger regarding self-proclaimed SEO and SMO experts – these are emerging technologies that we still don’t fully understand how to utilize to their fullest potential.  And I kind of get the ALL CAPS KANYE WEST OUTRAGE that can come from most any Internet debate – it’s pretty much a fact of life by now.  But what I absolutely do not agree with is when someone questions whether an authority (be it a blogger established in a niche, someone called upon specifically for their expertise or a similar individual) is actually a viable source.

Do they know more about the topic than you do?  Are they paring it down for mass consumption in a way that works?  Do they actually have evidence to back up their claims?  If the answer to all three of those is “yes,” then you can shut up now, Internet.  That person is an expert.

I have over 200 posts on this blog about employment and corporate culture.  The information is based on personal research and the experiences of myself and friends.  While I might not be as much of an expert as Rich, I’m still an expert.  Why?  Because people look to me as a source of factual information.

We are all experts on different things – our hobbies, our professions, and even our lives.  To discount that someone may be a greater resource on a topic than you are is really pleading ignorance and inhibiting intellectual growth.  So even if you don’t agree with what an expert says, it’s not a necessary indicator of whether or not their point is valid.

Then again, that’s just my expert opinion.

With the economy continuing on a downward trend, customer service and retail jobs are becoming a better option.  But dealing with irate customers is not only one of the major drawbacks to such a career, but also one of the things that contributes to high turnover rates and employee dissatisfaction.

I’ve been working in customer service off and on for over a decade, and in that time, I’ve dealt with some of the best and worst examples of customers that you can find.  Some of them made my day through our interactions, while others made me want to jump over the counter and beat the holy hell out of them.  But through it all, I found a number of strategies that apply not only to dealing with customers, but with people in general.

• Appeal to self-interest.  People like talking about themselves and what’s going on in their lives.  By asking them about this through something as innocuous as “How’s your day going?” or “How are you?”, you can connect with them on a level that’s much deeper than a superficial transaction, establishing the base for a relationship and trust.  This works especially well when talking with gatekeepers.
• Never apologize.  When you’re dealing with someone who has a problem with your business or product, never apologize for the situation.  This may sound counter-intuitive, but if you guide them through the proper procedure and arrive at a solution that gets them what they want, you won’t have to.  We often use apologies to diffuse a situation when someone is emotional or agitated, but doing so relinquishes much of our power and authority.  If you calmly and respectfully deal with the issue, your customer will feel just as (if not more) appreciated.
• Use incentives sparingly.  Another way around the apology problem is to offer a special bonus or incentive.  It works as an unspoken apology and increases customer satisfaction – let them know that you appreciate their patronage and suggestions (if an error is discovered).  However, you shouldn’t give these incentives out too freely – the reason that it works in the first place is because it is seen as something special and rare; if you dilute the incentive, customers will expect them regardless of the situation and will not grant any additional fealty (or possibly will give less) to your brand.
• Always stay calm.  Sometimes, people are looking for a solution that you can’t give them, and will accept no substitutes.  They will refuse all other options and suggestions, and will become increasingly irrational, despite what they see or hear you do.  Stand your ground, repeat the message as necessary, and don’t waver.  You can’t always make exemptions, nor can you please everyone all the time.  Maintain your integrity; the argumentative person will either fold or leave.
• No one is more important than anyone else.  You may have friends, regulars or special clients, but there’s no reason to give them preferential treatment over others.  You don’t always know the circumstances of each and every person: one could be a powerful connector and could bring in a lot of new business; one could be a critic or secret shopper; one could be a first-timer who has a lot of brand loyalty.  Don’t misplace your priorities for someone who you think is important – treat everyone with respect.
• Appeal to authority when it’s your last option.  Unless you have a boss who micromanages to an extreme degree, you shouldn’t have to run to them when you encounter a problem.  If you take the time to think about solutions to similar problems that you encountered in the past (some may even be identical), you can quickly find a resolution that doesn’t require running to your manager for help.  By taking initiative and showing that you are attentive to customer (and corporate) needs, you not only prove your value to those you’re helping, but to your company as well.

It’s easy to want to write off solutions as unsolvable or customers as bad, cranky people.  But if you take the time to think out the situation and take appropriate action, you’ll achieve better results that can lead to more business, happier customers and a better work environment.

The great thing about the Intertubes is that there’s no shortage of reading material.  Newspapers and magazines put up their archives for us to purse through – FOR FREE.  Hopefully, this trend will continue for a long time.

I’ve been going through some of the stuff in Esquire, and there are a couple of amazing profiles that you should definitely read – one is on inventor extraordinaire and possible crazy person Dean Kamen (he created the Segway, among other things) and how he might save the world; the other is on film critic Roger Ebert and the aftereffects of his life-changing cancer surgery.  Both are fascinating reads that will not only give you something intelligent to talk about around the water cooler, but give great insight into the human condition.

How Dean Kamen’s Magical Water Machine Could Save the World and Roger Ebert: The Essential Man (both via Esquire)

I live in the 5th largest city in the country.  Okay, maybe sixth.  But whenever I’m travelling or vacationing and tell people where I’m from, I get the inevitable looks of confusion and comments about being a cowboy, living in the desert, being across the street from the Grand Canyon, or being friends with Squanto.  And that seems kinda silly.

After all, Phoenix has more people than Boston, Seattle, Washington D.C., Miami, and pretty much all but four (or five) other cities in the United States.  And unlike the cities on the east coast (or even in the Midwest and Pacific Northwest, to some degree), the city has plenty of room to expand.  Not just out, but up.

But here’s my main problem with all of this: event promoters, marketers, and even some members of the media don’t recognize Phoenix as a major market.

And lemme tell ya, if it’s the fifth – (or sixth-) largest city in the country, you can bet your sweet bippy that there’s stuff going on, and people interested in find out more about it.

I’m not sure if it has something to do with the city’s relative “newness” to the Union, its specific location or what.  But if I have to read about one more movie being put in limited release in @#*!ing Milwaukee that isn’t in Phoenix, I might cry.  Ditto for concerts.

Hell, we only got a reel of The Best Movie Of All Time in for a week, and it showed in one theater in Tempe!  One week in Tempe!  That’s it!

We’re interested in doing stuff.  And with so many people in the state, you know that there’s gotta be at least a few that want to get involved with these “major market limited release” things.

First off, this has nothing to do with my personal decision to boycott NBC directly until they get rid of Jeff Zucker (which started at about the time that I made this post).  And when I say “directly,” I mean “direct viewership of NBC programming on my TV but It’s cool if I’m watching Chuck, Community or Parks and Recreation on Hulu.”

Yeah, I know, my brain is weird.

Truth is, I’ve never been able to get into the Olympics.

It has nothing to do with the entries of non-sports like ping pong (sorry, Forrest) or curling (aka “shuffleboard on ice”) being included on the bill.  It’s not that I get bored with watching athletes compete, though watching other people exercise makes me feel fat and lazy.  It’s not even the faux-patriotism that many people start to feel when cheering on their country, which is more of a social obligation than something people do by choice.

Actually, I don’t like the Olympics because it seems like I have to watch them.

The other broadcast networks black out their schedules with reruns when the Olympics are on.  There are reports, specials, analysts and replays that clog up 24-hour news channels.  Every other commercial is for a “proud Olympic sponsor.”  Billboards, magazine articles, the main pages of websites…all of it a constant reminder that The Olympics Are On Right Now And I Should Be Watching Them.

Sure, there are similar marketing strategies involved for holidays, major-league sporting events, awards ceremonies and (sometimes) movies.  But unlike these events which typically* last only a few days, hours, or less**, the Olympics go on and ON and ON for what feels like an eternity.

I’ll watch some of the opening ceremony (which is a day in and of itself) and tune in a few days later.  Then, I’ll be flipping through the channels a couple of weeks later and BAM!  The Olympics are still going on!  It keeps going on and on and on even past the point of being welcome on my TV schedule, like a house guest who doesn’t know when to leave.

None of this is meant to speak ill of the athletes themselves; their athletic achievements are inspiring, and it takes an incredible amount of skill, dedication, perseverance and ability to get to the Olympian level.  It’s just that watching the Olympics requires a far greater investment of time and emotion than I am willing to give.  But if someone can put together a highlights reel of the events for me that can be watched in under two hours, sitting down to watch the Olympics sounds a lot more plausible.

* Except Christmas, which started in July last year.

** You only really need to watch the last two minutes of any sports event to get the gist of the whole thing.