During my Junior year of college, I spent a semester in London. And while I was there, I discovered something wonderful. The American accent (non-regional diction, in my case) can be sexy.
Just like hearing a British accent on this side of the pond, there’s something foreign and exotic about hearing an American talk if you’re English. We have different names for clothes. We call the “pavement” the “sidewalk.” And this was a turn-on to the British ladies who were quite tired enough of guys who sounded prim and proper and James Bond-like, thank you very much.
So what did I do with this new-found knowledge?
I exploited it. Who wouldn’t? But more on that in a minute.
The interesting thing about being a foreigner is that you are automatically interesting. Your looks don’t really matter. Your personality itself doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that you’re from somewhere else. And the accent is a key component.
We are often deceived by the possibility of something new or alien to us. But the longer it’s around, the more we get used to it. Barely more than a decade ago, sushi was considered a “fringe” food, eaten only by the Japanese and weirdos who liked their fish – yuck! – uncooked. But now, it’s everywhere. And while you might not be able to get a California or Philadelphia roll on the streets of Tokyo, the mystique of the food is gone.
So the key to being new and exciting is not to linger. Now, back to Past Me:
The first thing that I would do would be ask for the girl to get me a drink. I discovered early on that whoever pays for the other person is giving up power – if a man buys a woman a drink, she is under no obligation to talk with him for longer than it takes to get the drink. So she winds up with a free beverage, while he is out for a few bucks. The opportunity cost of the action doesn’t quite level off. And it’s always nice to get a free drink.
The next thing that I would do would be talk to the girl (or girls) by asking them open-ended questions about themselves (couldn’t be answered with a simple yes or no). This kept me from displaying the phenomenon known as Foreign Guy Who Doesn’t Shut Up, and made the experience seem more personal to them. I would hardly talk at all – I would be an active listener, and would wind up getting compliments on my superb conversation abilities!
During my entire time in London, I can count on two hands the number of times I paid for my own drink.
When you’re new to a group, be it a company, team or even an entire city, people will be interested in you because you’re new. If you’re able to manage your image well and make sure not to show all your cards right away, you can leverage your interesting features into more than just a story you tell at the bar.
