Language is a tricky thing.
You can use Neuro-Linguistic Programming to subtly influence others and get them to do what you want. But when it comes to convincing people to refrain from doing something, it becomes much trickier.
That’s because our brains are wired to process chunks of information instead of individual segments. This phenomena is similar to understanding what this sentence means almost instantly:
My wrods can be sepleld worng but as lnog as the lteters are tehre, you shloud undretsnad it jsut fnie.
Boy, spell check loved that one.
Our brains have a similar experience when someone uses negative phrasing. We grasp on to to action and phase out the negative, remembering the opposite of what is meant.
For example, if you tell Phil, “Don’t put the fork in the electrical socket,” what Phil hears is, “Put the fork in the electrical socket.” So Phil might electrocute himself. Instead, you should say, “Keep the fork away from the electrical socket.” Now, it’s clear to Phil what to do.
Interestingly, the Monty Python song, “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life,” a song about optimism, is written only using positive terms.
The power of phrasing can also be tied to positive and negative reinforcement; people respond worse to chastising and anger because they may not latch on to the message that is presented in a negative attack. Similarly, constructive criticism is extremely effective because it’s offered in a way that suggests what can be done while still complimenting others.
So when it comes to getting the help or cooperation of others, use positives! You’ll achieve better results and others will tend to agree with you more.
