Needle, Meet Haystack

I’ve recently joined the awesome blog network The Daily Get Up, and you can see my first post there today, in which I wax nostalgic about my first time making sweet, sweet concessions to nationalized health care practitioners.  Here’s an excerpt:

I glanced at my travel alarm clock and pressed the button to make it light up so I could see the time.  It was 3:30 AM.

Crap, I thought.  It must have been someone I kissed.

I had just awoken to find my sheets soaked with my own sweat, my head pounding and breathing becoming increasingly difficult.  There was no doubt about it: I was sick.

It was early November in 2006, and while living as a temporary Londoner, I was about to experience government health care for the first time.

Go to The Daily Get Up to read the rest of the story!

By the way, all my posts on TDGU (as the cool kids call it) will be on current events, pop culture, and other things that I clearly don’t talk about enough on this blog.

The Daily Get Up: If you’re wondering why NMH isn’t updating as often as it used to, this might be one of the reasons.

I got my LG flip-type phone for free last year when I signed up for a new number and returned to AT&T after a brief 18-month fling with T-Mobile.  It has a 2.0 megapixel camera without flash, a 0-9 (plus * and #) keypad, a lousy speaker phone speaker and a tiny screen.  It can make calls, text, calculate numbers up to 12 digits long, takes basic notes, and has demo versions of Tetris and Pac-Man.

My friends, meanwhile, keep upgrading their Blackberries and iPhones and Palms and HTCs every few months.  Sometimes, it’s because there’s a new model.  Other times, it’s because they break or lose their old ones.  They show me the new features, the piles of apps, the snazzy screens and cutting-edge hardware.

Then, they call me.

We get cut off, diverted or dropped.  Echoes and tinny sounds and beeps go off in the background.  Their Smartphones don’t seem to do perform the task of the suffix of their compound name very well.

Then, research came out showing that smartphones give off a lot more radiation than dumbphones like mine.  Some of them give off over 300% of the radiation that mine does.  But who cares about that?

So having a dumbphone makes me feel less dumb.  It might not have the cool extra features or decent web browsing capabilities, but it makes good calls, sends texts just fine, and will give me brain cancer at a much slower rate.

But darnit, that new iPhone looks awesome.

An aspect of being on the job hunt or newly employed that is rarely mentioned on this blog is one of finances.  Regardless of one’s own economic situation (or even that of the country as a whole), compulsion or necessity for larger purchases can lead to spending too much for too little.

This compilation from Lifehacker offers suggestions on when to save the most on food, appliances, electronics and more.  So whether you’re pinching pennies or planning to splurge, use this list to make sure you’re getting the best deal.

The Best Times to Buy Anything All Year Round (via Lifehacker)

I have a confession to make: I don’t get a lot of music.

When I heard the TI/Justin Timberlake song, “Dead and Gone” on the radio (without knowing the title), I thought the eponymous section of the chorus was about lamenting that “my homie’s dead and gone,” not that “the old me’s dead and gone.”  In fact, I would say that I’ve made most of the auditory errors from the Archive of Misheard Lyrics, though I would contend that it’s totally acceptable that one of those songs in question is Manfred Mann’s “Blinded By the Light” – you know what part I mean.

And in no genre do I have more of a problem with this than thrash metal.

Scratch that: I can’t understand any lyrics in a song where the vocals are screamed in a rushed snarl.

And a friend of mine is in a quite awesome band of that exact lyrical group.  They play fast and hard and loud (no entendres intended), and they’re actually really good.  Well, as good as I can tell from listening to their recorded tracks (they just released a CD) and still having no idea what the lyrics are.  So if I can’t understand the music, can I still like it?

Absolutely.

It’s not so much a case of musical elitism or even a generic love of music, but rather recognizing vocals as another instrument used to complete the sound of a song.  One of the best-remembered songs from Kill Bill doesn’t really have any lyrics beyond two words.  One of the greatest punk songs of all time (and a personal favorite) is in French…I think.  Operas are usually in other languages – a lack of understanding the words doesn’t really distract from the piece as a whole.

So if you’re at the concert tonight, you’ll see me down in the front, enjoying the music and nodding my head in appreciation, but not singing along.  Because, well, I don’t know the lyrics.

I have this tremendous hatred of the sound of my own voice.  Not the one I hear in my head, mind you.  That sucker’s awesome.  But whenever I hear recordings of it as it sounds to other people, I clench my teeth and furrow my brow.  This dude sounds way different than the “me” voice does, to the point where I’ve mistaken it for other people in the past.  I don’t like it.  So, I did something about it.

I read up on a few tactics that can help make my projected (outer) voice resonate a little more nicely and come across as more in-tune with my internal one.  Each one of these exercises can take as little as thirty seconds, and you don’t need to do all of them, but I’ve found that my best results come when I do all three for a minute each in the following order:

1. Slow your breathing. I actually learned this one when I ran track and cross-country in high school.  Breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and relax for four seconds.  This helps to slow your pulse and breathing rate, which keeps your voice from getting too high-pitched or panicky.  It also helps to regulate breathing so it’s not as obvious to listeners.
2. Hum down. This one is great for stretching out your vocal cords and modulating the pitch of your voice.  Start humming at your normal vocal level, and gradually drop it as high or low as you can go.  When you reach the level when the hum starts to crack a little, hold it there for a few seconds and go back a note, then back down.  The total time of each hum should be no more than ten seconds.  This allows you to speak in a deeper, richer register for longer without getting a sore throat.
3. Have a quick conversation.  I always have trouble telling if I’m talking too loudly or quietly (it’s usually the former), so this one is great.  Have a quick in-person chat with someone, making small talk for moderate pleasantries.  If no one is around, make a quick call to a friend or family member just to say hi.  The comfortable level of rapport between you and your conversation partner will let you find the right volume level, so you don’t sound like you’re screaming or whispering.

Each of these fixes really only works for the short-term.  But if you want to transform your voice from Bobcat Goldthwait* to, well, most anyone else, they’ll work for you in a pinch.

*Yes, I know that’s not his real voice

Busywork.  We’ve all had to deal with this mind-numbing, soul-crushing, oft-ridiculed yet somehow essential task since our earliest school days (coloring, anyone?), and yet few ever learn how to master the most tedious of all tasks.  We sit in quiet servitude, procrastinating and hitting our heads against walls as we try to deal with the most boring of all possible workplace responsibilities.

Well, I love busy-work.  And it’s all because I’ve developed a number of strategies to deal with what most people see as an encumbrance to getting out of the office early, and made it fun.

Hogwash, you say?  Why not try out one of these tactics first and then decide for yourself…

1. Develop a story.  Yesterday, I was a spy who had to crack the code to fix a website that a fiendish villain (“Dr. Misalignment”) had mucked up in a plot for world domination.  I had to rescue hypnotized villagers whose confinement was making them ask questions on the support desk, and only answering the questions correctly would heal them.  By re-contextualizing your work into a more exciting story, you can increase productivity and focus, especially if you make accomplishing the task a part of the story.
2. Narrate in the third person (internally).  ”Andrew looked at the stack of unsorted invoices, noting that it would probably take an hour just to make sure they were all facing the same direction…” And so begins a tale I like to call, “Andrew and the Stack of Unsorted Invoices,” a story I continuously narrated within my head for one day at one of my old jobs.  By taking myself out of the situation (even though I was doing it), I was able to be more relaxed, and kept my focus on the work.  It was almost like listening to a book on tape!
3. Try to figure out a new method.  Sometimes, the way you do things, be it entering info into a database, making calls or organizing files, is done inefficiently simply because you haven’t tried to figure out a better way.  break your routine and experiment with other methods to increase your efficiency and effectiveness.  By breaking your usual patterns, you’ll approach the task like you were doing it for the first time.
4. Batch tasks.  I check work email no more than three times a day.  I check support tickets twice a day.  I call my boss as little as possible.  All of this eliminates the chance of distracting myself with other uncompleted tasks, and allows me to focus on what needs to be done.  Instead of worrying about what other stuff I can do to waste time, I get it all out of the way so I can put more focus on my essential responsibilities for work.
5. Make a game of it.  For every twenty emails I send, I get a point.  For every three points I get, I’m allowed one minute to just relax an air out my brain.  By setting up a basic reward structure for performing busywork, I have more incentive to get the work done.  I occasionally combine it with #1 when stronger motivation is called for.
6. Move around.  Our minds process time differently when we move around – going to another building, another floor, or even another room (or just outside) makes time seem to go faster.  If you can, change up where you work.  The new scenery will make anything you do there feel like new, and you’ll feel more accomplished once you’ve finished.
7. Un-partition the task.  Busywork can seem imposing because there can be several components that need to get done in a large quantity.  By condensing the work into its core elements, then batching them (see #4), you’ll be able to move through it quicker and with less stress.

It’s easy to get bogged down with a lot of work that seems frivolous.  But this work is often a necessary evil.  So try looking at it from a different perspective to keep your spirits up, and you’ll be done before you know it!

NOTE: If you don’t want to hear about a book, stop reading now and watch this instead.

You may not know who Mark Penn is, but you definitely know what he’s done.  You see, Mr. Penn is the fellow who coined the phrase, “Soccer Mom,”  and has defined scores of demographic groups that you will have heard of in conversations anywhere from the news to the office to at the bar.

Penn is an amazing demographic identifier, and in his book, Microtrends, he covers a wide range of emerging micro-demographics, from Cougars and people who met their spouses online to Vegan children and grown-ups who play video games.  Each of these groups makes up a microcosm of the overall population, but they are prevalent enough that you probably know, or know of, people in at least several of the groups in the book.

But Microtrends offers more than just insight into potential customer groups for a new business, a suggestion for a new tribe to join, or a good read; it shows insight into the changing flow of modern society.  As I’ve mentioned on this blog a number of times, the constant innovation and development within our culture – be it from economics, politics, technology, education, or any of a vast array of different sources – is changing a lot of the rules of society.  And Microtrends goes a long way towards explaining it.

So if you want to read about the present (and future) of what might end up being a terribly fractured society, check this book out.

Microtrends: The Small Forces Behind Tomorrow’s Big Changes (via Amazon)

This week, I got to help with a clinical trial.  All I can say is that it involved being shot up with a small dose of radiation and lying perfectly still for several hours.  Here’s what I learned:

• Paralysis is worse than you could ever imagine. I still had use of my various appendages, but I really could not move.  I would get a pain in my leg and couldn’t stretch it.  My nose would itch and I couldn’t scratch it.  There have been very few times in my life where I’ve experienced the pure joy from something as simple as being able to sit up straight, but this was a revelation.  I only had to deal with forcing myself to remain still – it was voluntary.  But through those hours, I gained a better understanding of what people like Christopher Reeve and Stephen Hawking deal with; the torture of wanting to move, but not being able.  The disconnect between thought and action was more powerful than I would have thought.  The joy I’ve felt over the last few days at doing everything from typing on a keyboard to running to changing my position while lying down hasn’t dimmed; mobility is something that’s easy to take for granted.
• The simplest things can be the most difficult. Remember that link in the JTSCBAKS about how astronauts do their personal business in space?  Turns out that gravity doesn’t have to be nil in order for there to be a problem.  It’s extremely problematic when you have to pee and can’t move for several hours.  Let’s just leave it at that.
• Funny German words can help relieve stress. In addition to passing the time while identifying the disparity between platonic ideals and the weltschmerz of reality, I also considered the future implications of the schadenfreude people would gain when I told them about the experience.  Like, say, blog readers.
• Good things come to those who wait. It seemed like an eternity, but once my time on the table had passed, it was a relief.  I realized that I had done my part and wouldn’t have to be in that situation again for (hopefully) a long time.  Plus, I got to go to the bathroom.

So even though the radiation didn’t make me a superhero, I’m happy to say that I learned a few things.  Of course, trying to explain to people the understated value of limbs isn’t as easy as it sounds.

Every month on the 19th, I’ll be tackling some questions regarding the blog, specific posts, or myself.  Email, tweet, or facebook message me and you’ll get an answer.  For more immediate responses, go to my formspring page.  All questions will be posted anonymously unless you request otherwise.

And if you want to answer some questions from me, please fill out the reader survey!

Where did the search term roundups go?

Since I’ve moved over from the old wordpress site, my search-related traffic is no longer as condensed as it once was – I was primarily getting the numbers and info from WordPress search stats, and now there are so many places that the traffic and terms come from, that it’s harder to collect them all as quickly.  Also, you guys use some real NSFW stuff when you look up this blog.  I don’t know whether to be honored or creeped out…

Why aren’t there more JTMSCBAKS entries?

I got a bit sick with the format, and was running out of fun jobs to post about.  if you have a suggestion for one I didn’t do, you’re welcome to submit one and receive full credit for it.  For the time being, I’ve switched over to NSS posts on Saturdays instead.

Will you ever put up a guest post from another blogger?

Yes I will!  I haven’t opened the doors quite yet (this one really doesn’t count), but if you’d like to do one, or have an idea for one, you’re welcome to send it to me.

Are the owners of images actually credited on your site?

I know that I should probably use captions, but I actually link to every image source site by making the whole image a hyperlink.  If you click on any image (except for the ones I’ve hosted on this blog, which are mine), you’ll go straight to the image’s source page.  If anyone wants to volunteer to go in and re-format over 300 posts with images to have captions for free, I’d be more than happy to let you do it.

That’s it for this month’s FAQ!  Thanks for 10 months of awesome, everyone!

NOTE: Props for this post idea go to the ineffably awesome Mehnaz Thawer, who kicks butt on her blog, Strawberry Ghetto [EDIT: It's now Speak Softly and Carry a Red Pen].  You should totally check it out.

At one point during my unemployed days, I sent out over 150 applications over the course of two days, and didn’t receive a single offer for an interview.  Instead of curling up into a ball and sobbing naked whilst holding a teddy bear, I went back to the drawing board and continued to work on finding work.  Regardless of the circumstances, you can pick yourself back up – you don’t need to stay slumped over or admit defeat.  As corny as it is, even a little confidence and a positive self-concept can go a long way to keeping you from spiraling into depression or giving up.

The human brain is a funny thing.  Supposedly, it’s too big and powerful for our bodies to handle, which can cause chemical imbalances and psychological problems.  And yet, we’ve used our brains for thousands of years to evolve, create and explore our world in an almost entirely positive upward swing.  But that’s a whole other bag of chips that belongs on a blog about psychology or sociology or anthropology or something else that ends in -ology and has to do with brains and people (but not zombies).

We rationalize situations with 20-20 hindsight; we become workaholics; we ignore past experiences.  Our brains do all of this to make us move on, even if we don’t consciously acquiesce to it.  We may be rejected dozens or hundreds of times, but we get up and keep moving.  And if you have trouble getting past something, there are a few ways that you can strengthen your brain’s resilience to what is colloquially termed a “shit-storm.”  Here’s three of them:

• Find a new hobby – distraction allows your brain to focus on something else, which can have a calming effect and will help you move away from negative thoughts.
• Talk about it – vocalizing one’s concerns, instead of leaving them bottled-up and internalized, can lead to discovering a fresh perspective on getting over the issue, or even realizing how little it matters.  If you don’t feel like sharing with others, you can always find intelligent conversation by talking to yourself.
• Experience deliberate rejection – create a situation of little to no social or personal importance where you will be rejected outright.  Order spaghetti at McDonald’s.  Demand (politely) a “medium, not grande”-sized coffee at Starbucks.  Once you realize how unimportant it is for a situation to turn out your way, it’s easier to recover.

So things didn’t turn out the way you expected them to – that’s okay.  It may take time, but your brain will work to help you find the strength to move past whatever setbacks you’ve encountered.  It’s an amazing mechanism that can help you overcome the trials and tribulations of life, from the death of a loved one to a “no thank you” on an employment application to a rejection from a cute bartender.  If you trust yourself, and your brain, you’ll be able to overcome anything – it’s truly a wondrous device.

Why else do you think zombies find them so tasty?