My father, for the past 3/4 of his life, has not been completely clean-shaven. And not only that, but his facial hair has remained in the same style, outliving fashions of the hippie, disco, yuppie and day-glo eras (his sideburns, sadly, cannot say the same – mutton chops, Dad? Really?!). His van dyke has, besides going from black to gray to white, remained unchanged throughout the years. No matter what else changes in his life, there is one immutable law: my dad will have his beard and mustache.
In fact, my mom has never seen him without it. For the past 30+ years, she has never seen him without his facial hair. His sister doesn’t remember what he looked like without it (not counting in childhood, before his beard could grow to its permanent resting place). In fact, much like Jesus Christ between ages 13 and 30, there is a gap of time in which there were no photographs of my dad at all. It’s as if he left the land of pictorial remembrance, and when he returned, his beard and mustache came with him.
I don’t think that my father will ever, for the rest of his life, put razor or clippers to the hairs above, below and to the sides of his lips. He will forever be a bearded man.
Dad’s facial hair decision echoes a trend that has existed in cultures and workplaces since the dawn of mankind: if you find something that works, stick with it. And while there is wisdom in this concept, there’s also a great deal of foolishness.
Once a method or practice has been shown to work consistently, it becomes ingrained in a culture. Personally, we call them “habits.” Professionally, they’re “operating procedures.” Sure, they might not work all the time, but if they work for the majority of cases with little or no incident, there’s no real cause for concern.
And this can be fine – innovation is not essential to success. But then, how do we know we’ve chosen the best methods? How do we know that what we’ve become accustomed to is the best choice?
I’ve asked Dad at various times to shave off his beard. He won’t do it. After what I can presume to be much trial and error in his wilderness years, he found something that works for him.
So the only real way to establish a habit or operating procedure is through trial and error. It can take a long time to determine the best method, but once it’s done, it at least seems like the best way to do things at the time. But if it starts losing effectiveness, that’s a clear indication that one must innovate.
My dad’s facial hair hasn’t reached that point – it hasn’t lost its luster, even after decades of sameness. Still, I can’t help but wonder how he would look without the beard and moustache. But as long as it works for him, it’s not a mystery that really needs to be solved.





My dad was bearded all of my life. I never thought he would shave it. It was part of him. Then for his 60th birthday he shaved it off. I thought he would grow it back but it’s two years later and he is clean shaven still. And looks good!
My dad had a mustache when he was younger. In my parents’ wedding photos and my baby pictures, there it is…sadly, neither of my brothers can grow much of anything. They don’t like it, but they have full heads of hair, my dad was already mostly bald by their age. Cosmic exchanges perhaps? Personally, I’m more for the horseshoe style…don’t find many of those here in MN.
Thanks for the comments!
Jeremy, your tale gives me hope that I may one day find out what my father’s chin looks like.
Emily, the cosmic hair exchange is a well-known scientific fact. What a man may lack on the top of his head, he can make up for on his face. Or chest. Or, in some unfortunate cases, his back.
My Dad was completely clean shaven with a bowl-cut for his twenties and then full beard/bushy Italian hair and thick 80′s glasses through about 2001. At that point he got a short gel haircut and shaved the beard into a goatee. There has been no turning back. So far it’s been his best look. Kind of an “in-between” (my Dad is 59…)
See, Elisa, you’re lucky. Your dad switches it up. Mine has had the same facial hairstyle for OVER 50 YEARS. It was the same during the moon landing, the birth of the Internet, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the Y2K scare, and the recent housing bubble pop. It survived the Beatles, Led Zeppelin and N*Sync.
Now that I think about it, maybe his beard is an alien symbiote sent here to learn our Earthly ways…