Complication is a terrible thing. But we often simplify things too much, too. And this can actually make things more complicated.
Today, I decided to see how complicated I could make the act of making and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Here’s the rules that you should be able to follow:
- Get out the bread, peanut butter, jelly and spreading utensil
- Spread peanut butter and jelly on the bread with said utensil
- Connect the spreaded sides of the bread to make a sandwich
- Eat the sandwich
- Clean up
That seems like enough, right? But what if we wanted to be more succinct?
- Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
- Eat the sandwich
- Clean up
The problem with both of these is that there are too many assumptions: we assume the person wants the sandwich, that they have access to all of the ingredients, and have a modicum of sandwich-making skill. Now, try to imagine you need to give instructions to someone who has never made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before (but has seen sandwiches), and has never eaten anything before. How many steps would that take?
Using some assumptions, I came up with an answer: 31 steps. Don’t believe me? Here they are:
- Decide you want to have a PB&J sandwich
- Make space on the counter
- Open a silverware drawer
- Take out one spreading knife, two knives, or one knife and a spoon
- Close the drawer
- Decide on the kind of bread you want
- Get the bread from the freezer/breadbox/top of fridge/counter
- Undo twist tie/bag closer
- Reach into the bag and take two slices of bread
- Reclose and refasten the bag
- Put the bread bag away
- Get peanut butter and jelly jars from the freezer or pantry
- Open jar lids, set lids to the side
- Lay out bread slices on the counter
- Using the knife, get a dollop of peanut butter from the peanut butter jar
- Spread the peanut butter on one side of one slice of bread, or one side of each slice if you prefer
- If you are using one knife or the spoon, rinse the knife off off and dry it. Otherwise, get your second knife
- Using your knife or spoon, get a dollop of jelly from the jelly jar
- Using the knife or back of the spoon, spread the jelly on one side of one of the slices of bread. If both slices have peanut butter on them, spread the jelly on top of one of the peanut buttered slices on the peanut butter side
- Bring the two covered sides together in a sandwich fashion, so the peanut butter and jelly are now on the inside
- Put the tops back on the jars of peanut butter and jelly
- Put the jars back – if you’ve just opened them, this means you will probably have to put them in the refrigerator
- Rinse off or wash off your spreading instruments in the sink
- Dry your hands off.
- Pick up the sandwich
- Open your mouth
- Insert sandwich into your mouth – careful! Don’t put it all in at once!
- Close your teeth around the part of the sandwich that is in your mouth
- Continue the opening and closing action on the part of the sandwich that is in your mouth until you feel ready to push it down your digestive tract via your tongue and throat muscles
- Push the sandwich part that you had in your mouth down your digestive tract using your tongue and throat muscles
- Repeat steps 27-30 until you have consumed all of the sandwich
For some people, the first set of instructions would be enough. For others, the second set would be plenty. And for some, the third set would be necessary.
SO TO ALL YOU IDIOTS WHO WOULD SUE POP-TARTS IF THEY DIDN’T HAVE AN ENTIRE SIDE OF THE BOX DEDICATED TO PREPARATION INSTRUCTIONS, now you can finally have that PB&J you always wanted.
AND TO ALL OF YOU WHO WILL COMPLAIN THAT I DIDN’T MENTION TAKING THE CRUST OFF, CUTTING IT INTO TRIANGLES, RECTANGLES, SQUARES OR SOME OTHER SHAPE, OR FOOD/DRINK PAIRINGS, I didn’t have enough time to finish the charts and diagrams.
People don’t have the same levels of comprehension, understanding or knowledge. But that doesn’t mean that you need to simplify through overcomplication. It’s not rocket science; it’s just a sandwich.
