At some point, I read and/or heard about that old metaphor where we’re all the stars of our personal TV shows, with a core cast, some recurring roles, occasional guest stars, extras, and so on. It’s interesting to consider that this is more of a reflexive statement about life imitating art (a la the Post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy), although it does raise one of those “I think about this in the back of my head but rarely say it and it turns out other people might too” issues that certain bloggers are able to speak about quite well:
Other people have their own lives when you’re not around.
Weird, right? I mean, you talk to people about their vacation or weekend, but it can seem like character exposition; their side-plots are being filled in to cover time they weren’t on set. But there are entire lives that are going on behind the scenes that you might not be privy to. They might be hidden from you.
It’s impossible to know what’s going on with everyone at any time (despite what some websites would have you believe) – there are going to be knowledge gaps. So people might be upset, or pissed off, or in a good mood for reasons that you are unaware of, and they might not want to tell you what those are. Continuing the TV metaphor, everyone has their own show, but all of us are locked in on our own channels. There might be character and plot crossover, but you can’t change to a different network.
We don’t always know what’s been happening with everyone else, or the full context of the situations that they’re in. So take a few minutes to sit down to talk with them and find out. It can make a big difference – and not in the “minor role gets bumped to recurring status like Urkel” kind of way.
Damn. I think about this all the time. It’s amazing how often I am taken aback by this notion that other people are off living their lives. My inner monologue is really a selfish prick. I think about friends I haven’t talked to in a long time- I’m talking years- and I’m sad thinking about all the things they may have done in that time. Makes me realize that I need to take more commercial breaks and check in on some classic programming.
Well said, Jeremy! The “whatever happened to ____?” question is one of those things that can make the mind spin – sometimes, we get so caught up in our own plots and stories that we don’t notice what’s going on with everyone else. Great additional metaphor-stretching, by the way.
You mean other people have lives? Weird.
I try and keep up with the most important ones as often as I can, but kind of like reality TV, sometimes it’s fine to miss and episode or 4
It IS weird, isn’t it?
And if you miss a few episodes, well, that’s what expositional “what have you been up to?” and “what’s new?” conversations are for.