Needle, Meet Haystack

Guys, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: life is not a sandwich.  It’s hard to think of at first, but I believe we all understand the concept by now.  In fact, I remember the first time we had this talk in that post where, I said…um…oh, crap.  I never actually published that post.  But if I had, I would have said something like this:

Life is not a sandwich.  Or if it is, you shouldn’t treat it like one.  Sure, you can put any number of things you want in it, but the more you add, the more difficult it will be to keep it steady.  Even with good support, things will slide out.  And the tastes will mash together enough that you might not even like what you get.  And you’ll have a harder time getting it in your mouth than you would if you’d taken the time to pick out what you really wanted.  Sure, it’s fine to snack and sample, but don’t put everything on there and hope for the best.  To thine own palate and digestive abilities be true.

Now that that little bit of self-quoting is out of the way, let’s snack on the genesis of the sandwich problem that we all face, the nadir of self-actualization and happiness that seems to face almost everyone.

It’s a little something called choice.

The greatest thing about the world today is that there’s no shortage of things that you can do, people you can meet, and adventures that you can have.  We’ve come a long way from the utilitarian hunter-gatherer days, and entered into a world where companies can make millions of dollars selling nothing.  It’s ah-freakin’-mazing.  You can be a farmer/fitness guru/hedge fund manager/gourmet chef if you want. Or a massage therapist/DJ/TV and film extra/video editor.  Heck, I know those guys!*

The problem starts when you have two many different titles, and when they start taking over your life.

When you’re addicted to work, spreading yourself too thin at even one job, taking on the brunt of several more responsibilities can be a killer.  What you gain in time on these tasks equates to less time for leisure, be it with friends, family, or significant others.  And the more time you spend on your multitude of titles, the less they become hobbies, having morphed into work.  Eventually, you’re consumed with more stress than you are with enjoyment.

There’s that old saying, “It’s not a job if you love what you do,” but the problem comes in when you do the parts of the job that you don’t love.  And those will always be there.  Multiply that by the number of different jobs that you give yourself, and eventually, you’ll reach a breaking point.  And for those of us who choose to pursue these different paths, the thing that most often suffers is our personal lives.

Sure, one could organize to the point of insanity, but the cracks will show, especially to those who are close to you.  And while one might be content to work hard now for more leisure time later, the problem comes in when it becomes known that it won’t be the same leisure time.  The place that you and your peers are in right now, life-wise, is very similar.  But the longer you postpone it, the further you will drift apart.  Trading memories of fun for memories of working is no way to live.

So even if it might pain you to do so, cut back or cut off certain activities.  There are weak links in the chain, and they’re usually only there because you’ve decided that they should be there.  By becoming engrossed with many activities, we lose our sense of priorities; the more involved you are, the harder it will be to let go.  But taking a step back to reevaluate things, to make sure you have enough time to relax, be happy, and sleep, might be the best way to figure out how to let go.

Maybe you should start by making a sandwich.

* Seriously, I know those guys.