I’ve noticed a strange trend that’s popped up over the past couple of years, and it seems to be affecting everyone from my technophobe parents to my consistent gadget-updating friends. It’s quite scary, actually: people are no longer checking their voicemail.
My parents leave their answering machine blinking for weeks. One of my best friends since preschool changed his greeting to, “TEXT ME.” I can’t get a hold of an ex-roommate because he hasn’t checked his messages in almost two months.
It’s quite frustrating. So not too long ago, I decided to have fun with it.
Thanks to inventions like caller ID, phone number playback, and recognizable phone voices, the actual content of the message, unless it’s something rather pressing or serious, doesn’t need to be much. After all, most voicemail messages boil down to one thing: “call me back.” So with that being the implied content of every message, there’s no way to stick to the script. So in the past, I’ve left messages as:
- A GI JOE sleep-away camp counselor warning parents about a possible COBRA spy
- A guy who thought that his bad date went really well
- An old man who keeps randomly pressing the buttons on the phone because he thinks he’s ordering his prescription refills
- A monkey with terrible gas
- A phone-in game show host who was offering fabulous prizes, like a pair of used flip-flops
- A representative of the financial aid department of a university that discovered that they had moved the zero one decimal place to the left on a report that they sent
- A pocket-dialer telling secrets about the recipients to their friends
- A faith healer who heals people over the phone
- A person who thinks they’re getting great signal reception, but it keeps cutting out
There are lots more, but the problem is that by the time most people listen to the messages, they’re just confused. So while it might be funny right away, or even a couple of days later, once it passes the one-week mark, the message just seems out of place. However, it does lead to some great calls back. And I’ve noticed that I get quicker replies these days, too…
I’ve noticed this trend, too. My husband almost never checks his voice messages – every time I’ve left a message, he’d call me back and say “what did you want, honey?” I’ve stopped leaving messages for him, but I think your approach would be considerably more entertaining!
I admit, I’m just as guilty. We dropped out land line in favor of a VOIP system last year – somehow our phone and message box ended up in the basement, far away from notice. If I remember, I’ll check the messages online. About once a month.
Thanks for commenting, Ren! I’ve had that happen too – I would leave a message, only for the person to call back and ask what the message was about. I now just go with the old, “I don’t remember, call me back when you’ve listened and we’ll discuss” method, and that works pretty well.
Now that most people use caller ID and texting, voicemail seems less useful – we can see who called, when they called, and how many times they called – we can assume that they want us to call back. So in that sense, voicemail is more of an indicator of “hey, they’re not going to pick up” rather than “leave a message.”
I have to agree. Voicemail for me is most useful for when I don’t recognize the number. If it’s important, they better leave a message!