Needle, Meet Haystack

One of my best friends is taking a major life step this week, moving from Phoenix to Los Angeles to pursue his lifelong goal of becoming a working actor.  He’s really excellent at what he does, and I believe that his talent will allow him to ascend to the level of stardom that he deserves.

We met up for drinks last week and were discussing his big move.  Having made the decision to go to a new place with few or no contacts, safety net, or firm plans beyond a loosely-defined goal three times before in my life (Tulsa, London and DC), I shared some of my experiences with him.  And out of the conversation came 5 rules that we decided should be followed by anyone looking to make a new life in a new place.

Whether it’s a new location, vocation, or social group, here are the 5 rules you should keep in mind:

1. Keep your distance. As tempting as it is to call, text, Tweet or Facebook everyone you know to keep them in the loop about your new experiences, limit your exposure to your social groups as much as possible during the first few weeks, so you can get settled and focus on establishing a base for yourself, personally and professionally.  And this way, when you do reconnect, you’ll have plenty to talk about!
2. Have an adventure. Explore, ask questions, and get acclimated to your new surroundings.  Being new gives you some advantages, the least of which is the ability to make mistakes, quiz others, wander around, and try out different things.
3. Try on some new personality traits. Your new opportunities do not mean that you have to act in the same way that you did before.  Break the bad habits that you thought were holding you back.  If you feel like you were too strict, too negative, or want to make some change, this is the perfect time to do it – in a new setting, with new people who don’t know how weird you used to be.
4. Relax.  It can be stressful and scary to find yourself in a new place, but there’s a reason that you made the decision to go there – remember that reason and relax.  You don’t need to feel overwhelmed because of your decisions, and you definitely don’t need to stress out about making a positive change.
5. Stick to the script, but be prepared.  When following the goals you’ve set for yourself, you may get diverted by other opportunities, people, and situations.  And while you may not notice it at first, it’s important that as soon as you do, you reevaluate whether you want to continue down that path.  Sometimes, you can be pushed further out of the way of your original goals than you had intended – take time to consider if you’re going where you want to go.

Getting a fresh start can seem imposing, and offers many chances for success and failure.  But being aware of yourself and what’s going on around you can be all that you need to make the most of it.